paranoia: explained!

if you know me enough you'd know i am extremely scared of fire. it is my biggest fear. i get so paranoid whenever i see flames, it's to the point now where even the taco bell "volcano" taco commercial scares me. TONIGHT i came to the conclusion as to why this is. it all derives from the fact that fire has happened within 3 centimeters of my fashionably famous bishop brady "blazer" made of felt. it all happened on my way to school (that i was already late to) while my dad was flowing far behind. i was rummaging through my huge bag, inside the sides of my seat, the door, the glove compartment, even the arm rest to find a damn lighter (later i find one right beside my foot). i couldnt find a lighter ANYWHERE. so i found a box of matches. I light up the cig and waved the match in the air to put it out and threw it down. i continue smoking my cigarette and plugging my iPod into the transmitter and trying to find a station that would be as less irritating as possible considering all transmitters sound like there is a ferosh cat hissing at another cat in the background. i wish i had forgotten my iPod that day. I look over at my seat to find a hibachi table sized flame burning my plush oh so comfortable altimator seat. i throw my car into park right near 106 so all the business men and ladies going to work can see me looking like a crackhead trying to make sure the fire was out. i finally get to school and show everyone my third degree burns on my palms from when i tried to put the fire out with my hands. also, i had melted seat/ assorted pastics burnt onto my jacket. my face was i'm sure priceless considering i had gone lil wayne on the altimator front passenger seat by putting the fire out by myself. i went through the day like any other shitty day at the school from hell.

a week has gone by and i had left a big stack of paper and books on my seat to hide the burn hole of sin from my parents. one day i was confronted by mom and pops..they asked me how i managed to burn the shit out of the seat. i had no idea what to say, i couldnt tell them the truth. i began telling them that it was so scary..holy shit so scary...to buy me time to think of something good, i couldnt so i pretended to be very shook up about it. i finally had to tell them, i told them that one day i was one the highway (in the middle of winter) with my windows down and some guy threw his cigarette into my car and i just didnt notice until fire was going on on the front seat. obviously they did not believe that bullshit and to this day they make jokes about it. so this brings me back to the reason why i'm paranoid about fire.

if  something was to burn up in flames, such as the house, the yard, etc... my parents would know it was me, i wouldn't be able to say I DONT KNOW. 

*WELCOME Joel Humphrey to the blogging world.*